


Chess Pains

by orphan_account



Series: Old TV and Modern Fandoms [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Everyone’s gay, Gen, Human AU, Logan has emotions, Past Relationship(s), past Dukexiety, past lociet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24135958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Virgil wants to play chess with Logan, but it reminds Logan too much of his time dating Dee.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Old TV and Modern Fandoms [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741669
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Act One, Scene One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first installment in a series where I take plots of episodes of old television shows I love (but no one else my age does) and write stories about modern fandoms using the aforementioned plots.  
> Of course, I’ve edited the lines to a) not steal an entire work and b) keep everyone in character. However, I have kept most of the particularly good jokes, or ones that don’t interfere with keeping everyone in character.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ll just have to read and find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Logan has a crush on Patton. Just keep that in mind? I don’t know. I hope you like it.

“You sure your eyes are closed?” Roman asked.

”Yes, I think I know if my eyes are closed or not,” Logan told him.

”Shut up,” Roman said while setting an ornate chess set on the table. “Okay.. open your eyes.”

Logan opened his eyes and immediately put a hand to his chest. “It’s breathtaking! I’m breathless! I need to take a breath!” 

Roman explained how he acquired it. “My grandpa was in the Vietnam war, and he got this cool chess set in Vietnam. My mom was cleaning out her basement and mailed it to me, ‘cause she doesn’t know how to play chess.”

Patton came into the room, humming Baby Elephant Walk.

”Hey, Lo!” Patton greeted, beaming at the two of them.

Logan and Roman greeted Patton.

“Do you want to try playing a game?” Roman asked Logan.

”I don’t know, I think it’d make me too sad,” Logan told him.

”All right, if that’s how you feel.”

“Dee and I played every Thursday night. He loved it so much,” Logan explained.

”Feeling a bit lonely, Logan?” Patton asked.

”Only sometimes, when I’m by myself. And other times, when I’m with other people,” he replied.

”Maybe you just need a little company in your apartment. You know, something warm and friendly to come home to? Getting Thomas really helped Virgil after he broke up with Remus,” Patton proposed.

”I don’t know, owning a dog seems like a lot of work for nothing.”

“C’mon, they’re so cute. You’d make a great dog owner,” Roman told Logan.

Thomas ran down the stairs, into the living room with his leash in his mouth. 

Patton sighed. “Again, Thomas? If you’re gonna drink out of the toilet, at least learn to use it.” Patton knelt down and put Thomas’ leash on him. “Lo, do you want to come with? Get a feel for the leash?”

Logan sighed through his nose. “Sure, why not.” He followed Patton out the door, Thomas in tow. Roman rolled his eyes.

Virgil came out of the hallway. “Oh, hey Ro.” 

“Hey, Virgil. Logan and Pat just took Thomas outside for a walk.”

”Really? I thought Logan didn’t like dogs much.” 

“He’s only going because Pat’s going.” 

“Oh, of course.”

”Did you see my new chess set, Virgil?”

Virgil glanced at it. “Yeah, it’s nice.” 

“How about a game of chess, Virgil?”

”Eh, I don’t know. I should be going to bed soon, I’m doing a presentation at the office tomorrow.” 

“Virgillllll, no one will play with me! The people at your office or whatever don’t care! They’re gonna be half asleep during your presentation whether it’s good or not!”

Virgil sighed. “Fine, but I’m not going to do well. I’ve only played chess a couple times when Logan made me.” Virgil pulled a chair to the other side of the kitchen table and sat down. 

~~~~

“Is this a checkmate?” Virgil asked.

Roman sighed. “Yes, yes it is.”

”So.. I won?”

”Yes, you did.” 

Roman stood up and folded up the board, then started to put the pieces back into their wooden case.

”I really got you, Ro. I got almost all your prawns!”

”Pawns, Virge.”

”Okay, pawns. The turning point was when I got your castle-thingy, though.”

”It’s a _rook_ , Virge.”

”Fine, a rook. The thing that really put the last nail in the coffin, though, was when I backed your horse guy into a corner.”

”Let’s call it a night, Virge.”

”Fine, a knight.”

”No, let’s call it a night.”

Virgil shrugged and ran up to his room, probably to text Patton and Logan about his victory, while Roman crossed his arms and pouted, trying to figure out how he could’ve lost to _Virgil_ of all people.


	2. Maybe it’s short for nodule: Act 1, Scene 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, read and find out, dear fanders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe it’s short for nodule” will make sense later, I swear.

Roman sat at a table in Café Sandersa, replaying his chess match with Virgil with a pocket chess set. Emile sat down at the table.

“Hey, Ro,” Emile said, sitting down at Roman’s table.

“Hi, Em.”

A waitress came up to their table. “Erm, a double tall caramel latte with a slice of apple pie.. whipped cream on both.” Emile told the waitress.

“Anything else?” the waitress asked.

“A blood pressure cuff?” Roman snarked. The waitress covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her giggle.

“Um, yeah, that’ll be ready in a couple minutes.”

Emile sighed. “I’ve had a bad day, okay?”

“Oh, did another client not like your alternative methods?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s about my hair. I have an appointment tonight with Noge.”

Roman raised an eyebrow. “Erm.. Noge?”

“He’s only the hottest hairstylist in Florida?”

Roman rolled his eyes.

”I think Noge is getting bored with me. We barely talk while he’s doing my hair!”

”How about this for an ice-breaker. ‘Say, Noge! Where’d you get such a stupid name?” (A/N: I’m aware that joke is stupid, but if it’s good enough for the NBC writers it’s good enough for me.)

”And you should see him with other clients! They’re talking, laughing, and with me? Nothing,” Emile complained.

Emile picked up a newspaper someone had left on an adjacent table. “Maybe something in here will catch his attention.” Emile flipped through the pages. “Oh, here! A woman in Italy gave birth to a 19 pound baby!”

”She won’t be riding her Vespa anytime soon, that’s for sure,” Roman said, smiling a bit at his own joke. 

Roman looked back down at his chess board and gasped. “That’s how he did it!”

Emile furrowed his eyebrows. “Who did what?”

”Virgil won by dumb luck! He stumbled right into the Panov-Botvinnik maneuver!”

“Roman, what are you talking about?” Emile asked.

Roman stood up. “My world makes sense again! This is such a relief.”

”Are you forgetting about my problem with Noge?”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Yes, and it’d be a lot easier if you’d stop bringing it up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our new character, Emile, is named Roz in the actual show. The coffee shop is named Café Nervosa in the real show. 
> 
> I know Emile is way out of character, and that if anything, Roman would be the one flipping out about his hair, but I needed it that way for it to work. It doesn’t really matter, this chapter is just setting up for later in the story anyway.
> 
> I hope you liked that chapter! Kudos, comment, vent on tumblr about how you wasted ten minutes of your life reading a stupid fic, however you show your appreciation or lack thereof.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on S3E18 of Frasier, “Chess Pains“.
> 
> Logan is Niles, Patton is Daphne, Roman is Frasier, Virgil is Martin, and Dee is Maris.
> 
> I hope you liked it! I loved writing this, so the next scene will probably be out soon!
> 
> Sorry if the writing was a bit awkward, it’s difficult because I’m using a screenplay as a reference.


End file.
